I feel the pain...
When I received the camera tripod that I ordered in purpose to take beautiful pic when we go for Europe trip...
I thought I've forgotten....but it came into my heart again...
I feel the pain...but I'm not regret...
cause I'm very sure that I'm not what you want...we have different visions, different lives...
I have my mission in the UK and Europe, your mission is in our home country...
I thought I won't go for the Europe trip, but now I think I might go for it alone =)
I can stand on my own, I don't want to seek for accompany anymore...
I'll go for it if it doesn't clash with my future job....
you are most welcome to visit me in the UK anytime you wish =)
I'm so grateful that we've been through so many things and that we've learned so much from each other =)
I hope all is well, please call me whenever you see me on skype, I miss lui lui so much....
Take care~

Dear friends...

I know you know...
Thank you so much for being so considerate and understanding.
Not asking me the reason, not interrupting, not asking me to stay...
I'm so grateful!
Thank you so much for your support, my dear friends...

Yo wassup?

Click on the link below and I'm sure this will cheer you up =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgrrQwLdME8

Frienship =)

It was on last Sat, remember I said I'm gonna meet my friends in central London?
I was so happy cos I can meet them again!!






One of them are leaving for Japan for study, I decided to give my friend this bookmark as a gift =)
It's actually my first and the most precious gift from sensei....I dunno why, but one day I was chanting to think how can I encourage my friend, then I thought this bookmark will be the best farewell gift =) My lovely bookmark, I'll be missing you!!















It was a sunny day~~
I felt like summer~~~
We sat on the steps and chat for more than an hour, I was trying sooo hard to hold back my tears when I shared my experience, hehe =)

Taken at Green Park, near Buckingham Palace. It's a nice place to relax....I felt like sleeping on the greeny grass and look at the sky...relaxing and revising.....maybe I'll do it someday =)


One of the greatest thing in the world is to establish friendships with people =) I feel so blessed to meet my friends and to share our experiences with each other =)
When Ikeda sensei visited Soka Kindergarten Malaysia in year 2000, he wrote 3 words: Hope, Courage, Friendship.

Without hope, there's no life.
Without courage, there's nothing to achieve.
Without friendship, life is meaningless....

sleepy....very sleepy....
didn't sleep well yesterday....
no appetite again for the whole day...feel like vomiting when I saw food...
hate the feeling...I'm such a lively girl who loves food soooooo much!!!
I live to eat!!!

Oh yeah, I saw this lovely little flower smiling when I was walking to uni =)


Aren't they pretty? I'm loving it~~
The birds were singing too =) I just realized that the birds sing all day! How lovely~~ I enjoy this natural gift soooooo much~~
Life's great because of you~~~

not feeling well today..............
having menses now.....feel so tired, stomach upset, gastric, no appetite..... T_T

but I feel so happy that I chanted 2 hours for my friends today =)
I chant for 2 friends, so each one of them get 1 hour of daimoku support =)

I'm going to chant again later, that's for mummy and for my dissertation =)
Sunnyfields Primary School - I want to conduct my research in your school!!! I will!!!

Going to take a nap now....
physical energy level: 1/10
spiritual energy level: 8/10

Salut~

It's a tiring day.....but also a fulfilling day =)
I enjoyed so much =)
It's really great to meet new friends in life...
I'm glad that I could share so much with her =)
I'm sure that she'll be a great WD in the future =)
She's such a brilliant girl =)

And him...he's so cute =)
glad to meet him =)

I'm really protected by shoten zenjin =)
I thought this is the last time I meet them, but I'll meet them again next week =)
Co0l!!

I'm gonna make you sing, hehe...

I'm so happy that I met them with the attitude "this will be the last time I meet them" =)
You'll embrace each word the person says and you'll do your best in bringing hope and joy to the person =)

You should just try it =) it's pointless that I tell you but you've never tried before...

Not physically tired...but brain dead.....not working....

I have so much to share with you =) We shall meet up again to share more =)

Nitez~~

A special day

MoRnINg~~

How do you feel this morning? I was so reluctant to get up from bed =P but the birds' singing woke me up =) I guess they are couple and they were quarreling =) Isn't it sweet that you got someone to quarrel with you? So I smile sweetly.....then I continued back to sleep, hehe....

As soon as I got up, I can't wait to open my curtain, just as usual =) However, this time, the window is all covered with dew -.-"" I want to see the bright sky and I want to meet the birds~~ So then I opened my window and looked out through the little gap, the sky is sooooo pretty today!


21 Feb 2009....
It's a very special day to me =)
I'm going to meet someone today which might be the last time seeing the person....I feel so fortunate to see this person again =) I thought that was the last time we met each other =)

I hope that I can bring joy and hope to this person...as a precious gift before this person leave =)

I'm gonna do my gongyo and daimoku now =) I said to myself I'll chant for an hour before we meet up today =)

Dear Jane, enjoy your day =)

Dear Yao Yao~~

Chinese New Year celebration at Bunka Kaikan, Cheras. She was only 3 or 4 I think...She was so reluctant to leave after playing at the playground outside of Soka Kindergarten =P


In her 6 six years old....Her very first piano lesson, I brought her there and took a few pic quietly outside of the room...





omg....look at her posture....








I brought her to a colouring contest at kindergarten, that's her breakfast =)









lining up with all lovely children at Soka Kindergarten =)










taken when she was 4 or 5. We went supermarket to get ingredients and made potato salad together, she's a little chef =)


Her last year in kindergarten when she was 6 years old. It was sports day =)








She was tired of waiting, LOL!


Her fourth medal in school =)




Thanks Evon for spending your day with us =)

Dear Jane

Dear Jane, never let the pain defeat you...
Dear Jane, be strong...
Dear Jane, you can cry, but you must get tougher everytime after you cry...
Dear Jane, I know it's painful, but it's just a process of life. So, enjoy the pain you have now =)
Dear Jane, keep all sorrow with you, bring hope and joy to everyone you meet!
Dear Jane, chant wholeheartedly for courage, for the heart of a lion king!
Dear Jane, dear Jane....take a deep breath....you don't want to cry.....there's no reason to cry.....
Dear Jane, listen to the birds...they are singing joyfully =) So, join them in your daimoku =)
Dear Jane, you have no time to cry, nor to suffer, let's do your gongyo and daimoku with an energetic and cheerful spirit!

Gratitude........

This is the second time...I know you don't want to cry in front of me this time...
I'm so grateful for all precious memories you created together with me....
I'm so grateful for all precious things you taught me....
I'm so grateful that you sacrificed for my growth...
I'm so grateful that you put yourself after me....
I'm so grateful that you are being grateful to me....
I'm so grateful for your mature love....

Please take good care of yourself, lui lui, and Ceci...
My best wishes to you all...
Lui lui is always my dearest daughter no matter what...
Ceci...the name conveys my love and care for lui lui...the name that we thought together...

Take care~~

Je t'aime, ma cherie....

Dear, don't be afraid, cause I'm always here for you...
Dear, don't be afraid, cause I'll chant a lot a lot for you...
I know it's frustrated, it hurts, and it's so painful...
But...dear, deal with it, be brave!
You can make it! Chant with me, together with me, in the same rhythm, with the same spirit!!
I love you dear...never ever forget our promise....we'll go to the place we long for...together, hand in hand...I'm waiting for you here =)
I will always stand by you, no matter which path you'll choose...
I wish that all my best wishes and fortune will bless you a courageous heart to attain happiness in life~
I love you my dear, I always do...and I miss you sooooo much T_T
there's nothing much I could say other than my daimoku...
I love you my dear...
it has been a long time that we didn't take a pic...Sigh..we have to take pic together after we've gained 5kg of weight, lol...nvm, you are always pretty and adorable in my heart =) You are always strong and tough in my heart, just like a yellow tulip, hehe... and I'm a purple tulip, cause that's my favourite colour! ;-P
Dear, I love you... I will always do.... please chant as if I'm sitting right beside you, chanting together with you...be brave my dear...
Je t'aime ma cherie.....

Stupidity in me.....

I feel so stupid...I don't know why...how can I be so stupid...sigh....

A friend of mine shared with me a dialogue between sensei and a few scholars. The article is from Art of Living which is a SGI-UK magazine similar to Cosmic in Malaysia. I told my friend I don't have a copy of it cos it's too expensive for me. Initially, when I just arrived in the UK, I asked another friend about Art of Living subscription. But it sounded so expensive to me...I'm not sure she told me the wrong price or my perception of the price was REALLY expensive at that time....

After my friend recommended the article in Art of Living to me, I thought to subscribe it no matter how expensive it is. I thought it would be great to read the magazine and also to do shakubuku by sharing it with my friends. So I went online...and I found that.....it's only £3 per copy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness...Woo Jia Ean...how stupid could you get.....sigh.....
£3 is cheaper than a meal at McDonald's!
£3 is cheaper than a day of transport around London!!
£3 is cheaper than a box of chicken breast that sustain your life for just one week!!!

Sigh....never mind, it's not too late....
I've filled up the subscrption form and a cheque, I'll send it off tomorrow!! I can't wait anymore!!!

For my friend....

I'm loving it =)

The future famous shoe maker!!!

Guess what? Guess what?? Guess what??!!!!

Remember I mentioned about a Japanese guy in my previous blog? I said, I met a Japanese guy on the airplane when I first came to the UK (it was last Sept). He was sitting beside me for 12 hours but I only started to make friends with him a few hours before we arrived in London Heathrow airport. I was so impressed by the purpose he came to the UK. He's a shoe maker, does it sound strange to you? It did on me, hehe....Well, he's a shoe maker, he came to the UK to meet a friend who stays in Oxford, and he wanted to start his shoe making career in the UK. How cool! I was so impressed by his courage!!! We then exchanged our contact details and be friends =)

We sent a few emails before but I've never heard about him for these few months. So I emailed him yesterday and he replied!

Guess what? Guess what?? He wrote to me:"My shoe action is very good, next month I will creat shoe for Chairman of Chamber of Commerce of ITALIA, and VALENTINO manager, and professional baseball player. And I am helping a shoe company president who is creating COMME des GARCONS which is walking Paris Collection, it is the most famouse JAPAN FASHION BRAND."

Isn't it GREAT??!!! I'm so delighted that he's got so much improvement and achievement in his career now =) Before I emailed him, I actually thought to shakubuku him and I prayed for his wisdom and success in his career. Of course, I know, his success today is not because of my prayers (cos I just started a few days ago), hehe, but it's such a great thing to know that the person you care for is doing great!!

A small part from the email I replied to him:"I wish you all the best in work, please devote your life into every shoe you make, please bless everyone who will wear the shoes you make to be a happy and cheerful person, please bless that your shoes will bring happiness to everyone in the world!!"

Do I sound funny? Haha...but that's what I feel when I read his email =) I really hope that I can introduce all my great friends in Gakkai to him, I hope that he can be a shoe maker who is good in both technique and personality. I hope that he can be a great man in the history of shoe making industry~~

I'll chant for you, Yoichi. Wish that you can join me in chanting someday =)

~Cherry blossom~

Isn't it lovely? It's from a friend of mine who also designed this =) I like the poem =) What does it mean to you? To me, this poem is by sensei, so I feel that sensei vowed to fight for kosen rufu together with us =) There's another person in this poem...it's daddy =) He's always with me, I'm sure =) There are sensei and daddy in this poem...together with me...

Guess what? The praying beads that I'm still using now is from daddy and mummy. They gave it to me as a gift when I was....5 or 6 I think... That's my first praying beads and I always think that it will be the only one in my lifetime. Although I received a few new praying beads from friends, but I only use the one that my parents gave me...

I can still vividly remember that my parents chose the praying beads together for me. Mummy put it into a pretty box and gave it to me as a surprise gift after I woke up from a nap. I was soooooo happy to receive my first praying beads in life! I was too excited that I can't even name it properly as a "praying beads", haha...

I hope you'd like the design and the poem~~

ps: I've set it as my mobile's and laptop's wallpaper, lol~

It's a sunny day~~

I was waiting for Siew Wen and Zac to walk to uni this morning. As I turned around, I saw this lovely scene so I quickly captured it! It's a sunny day~~ I'm so delighted by the warm and bright sunlight =)


It's me with my glasses on, not wearing lens today cos I just cried in the morning, haha...you know, it's typical...I cried when I thought about sensei, then I linked it to my dad..that's the reason, haha...





Good Morning~~
Ohayogozaimasu~~
Bonjour~~
早安~~
早晨~~
Selamat pagi~~





Victory Victory and VICTORY!!!!!

My dear sensei~~

This morning, I was sooooo happy that I saw my friend's emails right after I woke up =) I feel that my day has been lightened up by them =)
Both of them are very encouraging friends, we often email each other to share our feelings, experiences, sensei guidances, etc. I saw Yen's email, she said that she's going to meet sensei next month on her sister's graduate ceremony. Before this, I always thought that I don't have to meet sensei in my life because I don't have a reason to meet sensei. Also, I personally think that it would be enough as long as I work hard as his great disciple and I pray wholeheartedly every day and night for Ikeda sensei and Kaneko san. Everytime I see sensei in the Japan leaders meet video, I feel like sensei is sitting right in front of me and everything that he said is meant for me, as one of his disciples. I thought that this would be enough for me. But when I read Yen's email, I have a strong urge to meet sensei. I really hope that I would be there, physically in front of sensei, hug him tightly and tell him how much I want to bless him with all my wishes, fortune, and daimoku. So I told both of my friends to bring my wish and soul with them when they meet sensei =) But after I sent the email, I feel so silly....It's such a personal request, isn't it? Sigh...It's too late to apologize....it's too late~~ Just let it be..I guess Fung Yen will understand my feeling cause she's one of my dear sisters now =) But to my friend....I'm so sorry..all I can do is just to apologize....I hope that I didn't sound too stupid and dumb...I hope that I didn't scare my friend, lol....well...it's too late to apologize~~it's too late~~~ nvm...Woo Jia Ean..just be yourself =) Life's great!!! Look for the reason why you have such a passionate heart to meet sensei. You don't want to meet sensei just because others do so. You will get it someday, and when the day arrives, you can meet your life mentor--Ikeda sensei and Kaneko san to report your vitories on behalf of all your comrades =) Chant for it!!!

To my dear friend...

Dear friend,

It's my pleasure to meet you in my life =)

It's my fortune to be your friend =)

I'm so grateful for all your support, sharing, and encouragement =)

They mean a lot to me, and I hope that they enlighten your day =)

Wish you all the best in all aspects of life...in daily life, in study, in kosen rufu, in work, in music, in relationship, in kosen rufu, etc...

Although it has been short, but...it means a lot to me, really...I dunno why, but I trust my feelings...I'll chant for your happiness and fortune in life, as a comrade...please take good care of yourself, we vowed to be sensei's disciples and we must be the best ones!

Take care....
All the best...

恩

Pictures taken during student course

On the way to the venue after a whole day of work at Oakthorpe Primary School....I was really tired...I didn't have the strong determination that I must go for the student course...I just thought that I should go for it because I've promised myself and my friends...not knowing that the course will make such a great changes in my life...


Jane's smiley face in the train =)






I walked around to look for direction...finally...I got the direction...It's right in there after I cross the road...I was looking forward what's in there....


Right after I crossed the railway, I saw this little stream flow quietly and tranquilly under a bridge...it swept away all my tiredness and drowsiness...I was really pleased by this beautiful scenery...



Taken from the balcony outside my room...It's a peaceful place with peaceful environment....








Good morning =D Have a cheerful day~~







She's Jessica =) My new friend from the course, she's such a friendly and lovely girl~ We vowed to be sensei's true disciples and I hope to meet her again!! Miss her already...



If you saw all my pictures on blog/facebook, you'll realize how much I love this little reddy...I dunno why, but I just love it =)



Some beautiful scenery I saw in the afternoon.. wanted to keep them in my memory....I hope you'll enjoy these pic...







During the last night of the course, we had a cultural night that I enjoyed so much! I was so encouraged by all student division from all over the world. All of us integrate our spirit of mentor and disciple as well as the spirit of youth and victory into culture. All performances were so unique in terms of their creativity and cultural characteristics...



Our group used the song YMCA and changed the lyrics into our own one =) It was so funny yet meaningful. We created some funny movements to sing along with the song =) I really enjoyed the process whereby we get to know each other and contribute to the performance =) It's absolutely a great experience working with them, muacks~~~


It's me doing Lilac!!!
Thank you so much for the opportunity =)
Initially, I wanted to do lilac to support the event, but I didn't expect that I could learn and gain so much by doing lilac. It's my pleasure to support and contribute something to the course.
Please be noted that I wasn't wearing a lilac uniform, I didn't have one, so I wore a white shirt with a red scarf. The main colour for lilac uniform is black, white, with a red scarf. Isn't it look smart? I like it~~

I made many new friends in the course =) We didn't take many pic but I have 2 pic that we took before we leave the course. Do you notice that I have a friend who look like a famous star? Haha...despite his humorous look, he's actually a good person to learn from. I was with him in the same discussion group and he contributed so much by sharing his Buddhism view and teachings with us. He's also good in gosho teaching (I guess...) cos he can remember so many gosho sentences during the gosho hunt =)



During the course, I encounter many gosho passages that I've never heard before in English. I know the meaning of the gosho and they seem to appear in my mind in Chinese. Honestly, I prefer to read gosho in Chinese not only because it's my first language. but also I think that Chinese gosho is constructed in a way that it is deeper in terms of language....hmm...I dunno how to decribe my feeling towards Chinese gosho...I hope that someone could understand this =)
However, as I start practising Buddhism here, I came to realize that I MUST learn gosho in both languages, at least the English version when I'm here =) I have to learn all Buddhism teachings all over again in English, cos that's the only way that I can explain this great Buddhism to my friends in the UK. I don't want language to be a barrier of shakubuku. So, gambate ne!

Here it comes our group photo~~ I'm so glad to be part of it =) On the other hand, I want to show my gratitude to the photographer. I don't know her name...I had a short conversation with her when we were lining up in the canteen =P She's from Finland and she's doing her postgraduate in photography now. Thank you so much for her kindness in taking the group photo for us while she wasn't able to join in. Thank you so much~~

I hope you enjoyed the pictures, thanks for viewing =)